Once upon a time, the path to marriage was straight, swift and seamless. Today, the journey is much more extensive, with couples taking their time.
In 2023, there were 2,041,926 marriages in the U.S. But how, why, and where people get married has evolved.
Our study considers the key data behind current trends and reveals the engagement and marriage capitals of America.
People Are Marrying Older and Dating Longer
Over the years, the age people get married for the first time has increased. In 1956, couples married at the average ages of 22.5 (men) and 20.1 (women).
Today, the average age of the groom is 30.2 years old, while the bride’s median age is 28.6.
Couples also date longer before marriage. Study data suggests the average dating period before marriage is around 2.5 years, from around 1.5 years in the mid-fifties.
There are clear metrics for more successful marriages: couples who date for 3 or more years before tying the knot reduce their likelihood of filing for divorce by 50%.
Plus, couples who spend $1,000 or less on their wedding tend to stay married longer than those who spend more than $20,000.
On average, first marriages in the U.S. last just over 20 years, but this can depend on several factors, including location.
Couples in the Northeast of the country, where the average age is older, tend to stay married the longest.
Factors that Determine a Successful Marriage
The timeline for every couple is different, and different factors determine whether or not a couple feels ready to marry.
Before deciding to take the plunge and get engaged, a couple must consider key aspects of their relationship to measure their suitability for the next level of commitment. Getting engaged without the foundation of a long-term, stable relationship probably isn’t the best idea.
Firstly, healthy communication is crucial. As study data shows, how couples talk to each other, especially during disagreements, reveals a lot about the strength of their relationship.
If partners can listen, speak honestly, and show mutual respect, it will provide a solid base for a marriage in which conflict can be quickly resolved.
Shared core values are equally important. If a couple is aligned on major issues like finances, boundaries, and beliefs, it means they’re a team, which makes it easier for them to grow together.
For a relationship to thrive, both physical and emotional intimacy are vital. A couple strengthens its connection if both partners feel they can open up, be vulnerable, and support each other.
Commitment is a must-have. Being fully committed to and invested in a growing mutual life is an indispensable element of every lasting marriage.
The Places Where Couples Say “I Do” Most Often
Lots of people in America aspire to marriage without actually heading down the aisle. Our analysis shows us that, while people might wistfully search the internet for information about rings, weddings, and proposal ideas, such initial investigation may ultimately not amount to much.
Washington D.C., New York, and New Jersey all show exceptionally high interest in engagement-related topics.
The states rank #1, #3, and #5 respectively, based on average search scores for terms like “marriage proposal,” “getting engaged,” “engagement ring,” and “wedding.” D.C. leads with an average score of 94, followed by New York (81.8), and New Jersey (80.2).
However, while search intent is strong, weddings in those states are not cheap. The average cost of a wedding in the U.S. is $33,000: D.C. averages $42,000, New York goes higher still at $49,000, and a New Jersey wedding will set you back an eye-watering $55,000.
The data suggests that while residents in these states actively search for and engage with wedding-related content, the high financial barrier shapes actual marriage trends.
Once the decision to get married has been made, there’s the daunting matter of organizing the event – and that means ticking off a long list of wedding must-haves.
Here are the ten most searched for wedding-related items.
- Rings
- Wedding attire (bridal gowns, tuxedos)
- The marriage license
- The wedding venue
- The wedding officiant
- The catering
- The photographer or videographer
- Music and entertainment
- Decor and flowers
- Seating and signage
Engagement Still Matters – Especially in Southern states
Our data confirms that the states especially obsessed with engagement-related searches (proposals, rings, and weddings) are a mix of high-cost, high-interest areas (such as D.C. and New York) and Southern states (Alabama, Louisiana, and Mississippi), where marriage still retains strong cultural importance.
Top-ranking D.C. shows extremely high search interest across every keyword, especially engagement.
Alabama and West Virginia score high in engagement interest, despite lower average wedding costs, which shows that in those states, traditional expressions of love are at least as important as saving dollars.
New York and New Jersey show that high interest can equal high spending. Ultimately, the Southern states dominate the top 10 emphasising the enduring strength of long-standing cultural traditions that afford marriage and engagement equal cachet and importance.
But the message is clear: love’s allure converts to huge search numbers in both high-cost cities and heartland states.
Some states are less lovestruck than others, as the data illustrates. Some states show low engagement search interest, suggesting that engagement culture in those areas may be low for good reasons – predominantly evolving cultural values and lifestyle preferences.
Vermont is the least amorously-affected of all states, and ranks low across most keyword searches, especially “marriage proposal” and “getting engaged.”
Montana, New Mexico, and Oregon seem only marginally more interested in such search terms, whereas South Dakota’s high interest in “getting engaged” does not carry across other categories, keeping its overall score down.
Although weddings are comparatively inexpensive in many of these states, there's little digital buzz about proposals or rings, suggesting less emphasis on traditional engagement rituals.
For these states, when it comes to engagements, it’s a case of “slow burn” as opposed to “put a ring on it”.
As the data tells us: higher engagement obsession doesn’t always mean a higher wedding spend although there is some overlap.
Engagement-obsessed states (like D.C., New York, and New Jersey) tend to have higher average wedding costs, suggesting both emotional and financial investment in the big day. Meanwhile, states with low engagement obsession (like Montana, New Mexico, and South Dakota) also feature low wedding costs, reflecting a more budget-conscious approach to marriage.
Outliers like Vermont and New Hampshire feature low engagement interest but high wedding costs. This means that, while they’re not necessarily Googling ‘proposals’ and ‘rings’, they’re still up for an expensive expression of love and commitment.
Nowadays, differences in marriage rate vary greatly by state due to a wide variety of reasons.
Our study data suggests that predominant factors include the cost of living, career opportunities, societal norms and traditional versus contemporary values. For some states, going big and lavish is still the standard; for others, there’s less hype and hullabaloo, and a much more measured and restrained approach.
Ultimately, at
Mark Broumand we know that marriage isn’t about counting the years or the cost of a lavish ceremony. It’s about knowing you’ve found the person who makes forever feel like the next logical step.
